David said, While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, Who knows whether the Lord will be gracious to me and let the child live? But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me. 2 Samuel 12:23
Exasperated with the counter-girl’s oblivion to my need for speed, I took a seat and waited as she flirted with a trucker and dilly-dallied while preparing my salad to go.
Someone standing to my right spoke. “Today is the two-year anniversary of my little girl’s death.”
Astonished, I turned to see a young woman looking down at me with eyes so deeply filled with pain I had to momentarily look away. She continued in a near monotone and said, “She drowned in the pool. Mom forgot to lock the gate.”
What do you do in a moment like that? What do you say when you don’t know what to say? All I could think to do was stand and hug this total stranger. In the awkward moment of silence that followed, I offered the perfunctory, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
The woman looked over my shoulder and out the window to the parking lot and said, “She was such a beautiful baby. Your salad is ready.”
For years after the miscarriage of my first baby, I harbored the secret fear that my miscarriage was punishment for past misconduct, and wondered if my baby, who was never baptized, was being punished too. Praise God for the truths and comfort of His Word.
All children are precious in God’s sight. He loves the infant. He loves the preborn. And there is nothing that can disqualify mothers or their babies from His divine compassion. There is no sin you can imagine that is greater than God’s love. He is a loving, gracious, compassionate God. When we humbly confess and repent of our sins, He is a God of countless second chances, faithful to forgive and cleanse us.
King David proclaimed after the death of his ill-conceived son with Bathsheba, “I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.” Through King David’s words I am comforted, knowing that by embracing the forgiving, cleansing, life-transforming power of the crucified Lord, I too will one day “go to” and be reunited with my unborn child for all eternity.
There is healing in Christ. Take hold and heal.